365 x 24

“Shop Closed Stock Taking in Progress”, I put out my board. It is that time of the year to take count and try and square off things in the neatest possible way. Accounts I am always weak in but have been able to balance the records with my rhetoric. Thus begins another exercise with a few more strands of grey this time.
The chocolaty taste of the black forest cake of last year still lingers in my mouth and it is time again to cut another cake. Hopefully my family will remember. You can never take anything for granted and rewards are dependent on one’s performance. So lets get down to manipulations, I mean calculations.

Does time really fly or is it that we live through every moment and in the intensity lose track of time? 365 days mean 8760 hours. Do not bother to re-check the figure because I have used a calculator! Now given my insomnia I have slept no more than5 hours each day so that means in hourly terms just 1825 sleeping hours. That leaves me to account for 6935 waking hours, only!

Now where are the payment slips of all the good things I have done this one year? Moment of truth for me. I, me, myself stare at the little chits clumsily stapled together.

Helped my son with his research on colleges – read one slip. Now, how can so much of intense labour be squeezed into a line? I worked a lot hard to help him zero on the college that he finally selected. Is there a negative marking scheme for the lung power that I used more than my intellectual ones to prove him all wrong as we went along? Not fair, after all I did work, shout or scan is immaterial. He has flown off to the college is what matters. Okay there were a few feeble protests from neighbours saying that housing laws permit noisy work to be done within a stipulated time and they could hear me yelling even after two in the morning. All for a good cause, people! I give it 1080 hours.

Next one read helping my daughter choose her wardrobe for her first job. I loved this task. Splurged my husband’s money and did not allow him to complain because it was for our “little daughter”. 28 days I went round choosing her outfits, at least 6 hours everyday. I neatly rub off the 3 hours daily spent at coffee shops and eateries. I was just resting my tired legs you see. 168 hours devoted to this very important hand and eye coordinated task.

Looking after my husband – now that is a very time consuming task. It is a 24 x 365 job. I have kept him agile by making him run round in circles for every straight question he asked. Made him feel false vanity at being able to provide a lavish lifestyle for us even if it meant drilling a hole into his savings. Never had to count his pennies because he had none left after every month. That is a neat 12 hours each day that too a very conservative count. 4380 hours accounted for.

Looking after the sick, the needy and the poor souls. I have developed a very unique style and it works wonders for me. Once I was visiting this old man lying in bed for months and his old wife nursing him but had reached her wits end. Like Florence Nightingale I descended on them and used my “cooing” voice to shake up the old man. He went into coma. Surprisingly, the old lady kissed my forehead and blessed me because it meant less work for her. I never returned to them for I wanted to remain an apparition that did the trick but never returned to haunt!

Now the sick sit up seeing me, the sprained ankles straighten out, the headaches and tummy aches disappear. I do not know the reason why and stake no claim at any form of wonder healing. All I know that no sick soul wants to hear my soul stirring “cooing”. Okay back to business, a flat 365 hours for this.

Nurturing the plants and caring for pets. I love them. One particular plant was showing symptoms of a teenager, refusing to blossom even with all the manure and attention. One evening I had a heart to heart chat with it. Look buddy you got to obey me. Perform or I will have you shipped out. Choice is yours. You are mature enough to take your own decisions. I ignored it for the next couple of days. The morning after that it was a sight to behold! Bright bell shaped blossoms hanging from it giving the garden a divine look. I kissed the plant and whispered “you have matured my child”.

Cats have been around me since time immemorial. At present they are a colony of eight in our house. One of them had aged and had almost become human. Its feelings, emotions and even intelligence could match any of us. The other cats had a good time nagging it and even ignoring it. My poor soul felt left out and I would pet it till it purred again. But age was catching up fast and within weeks it was immobilized. I moved it to my bedroom corner away from naughty kittens who loved to tug at its tail. Then one morning it was still, cold, it had passed away at night, silently bidding us goodbye. We buried it under a shady tree in the far corner of our garden.

I forgot stock taking in progress! Wiping off a trickling tear I write 730 hours spent with them.

Miscellaneous chores some routine, some mechanical and some very personal fill rest of the hours. Got 212 hours left to account for. Time to square off! 212 it is for this segment.

I told you I balance very well. I did it. Add up all the hours and you will see 6935, the figure I started with.

Accounts closed for this year gone by. Time to open shop again as I move the board back into the basement. Now it is waiting time to see if it is black forest or truffle cake or the rainbow delight. Slurping I wait in anticipation.

Tick Tock Tick Tock… I wait for my moment, knife in hand.